A Free Spirit in a Mormon Household

A friend of mine asked me to write about my trials of being a free-spirit in a Mormon household and i couldn't be more intrigued...

This last week i moved out of my parents house and i have to say it was somewhat bittersweet. If life goes to plan, i should never have to use the phrase "I'm living with my parents" which now concludes that my childhood is officially up, despite i will always be their baby.

I grew up in a very Mormon family. It's so Mormon that when my grandma came for Thanksgiving dinners, we couldn't have martinelli bottles present because they looked too much like wine bottles. In addition, she's also very prejudice so when my parents got engaged she was not stoked because my mom was brown. She's a real treat my grandma..

So my folks married and had 6 very brown children, expect my brother Dan, Dan is pale and always will be. :) We grew up going to church everyday Sunday... my mom was always apart of our primary classes, my brothers were eagle scouts and my dad, their scout master. My sister and i were in Young Womens and went to girls camp and sang church songs and participated in church activities every Wednesday for mutual with jolly smiles.. I actually loved girls camp and i actually love the church i was raised in....

I love it, but i am no longer apart of it.

I waited till i was almost 18 to get my first kiss and it's fair to say that's when things changed for me. After graduating high school i went wild and started drinking, trying drugs, and gaining that self confidence i lacked all through high school. I could talk to guys and feel womanly doing it. (<< that sounds so stupid but it's the truth.) I liked who i was and liked what i was doing and the best part is my family had no idea. Then a few years ago i got a DUI and the cat got out of the bag... Tawnya's been drinking. "So if she's doing this, what else has she been doing?" It was a rough time for my family because of the lies and secrets that quickly became unveiled and i felt awful. I felt the distance between myself and my parents and most of all, the disappointment. Fortunately, parents forgive and if anything, it brought us closer.

So here i am typing this and what do i have to say.. Well basically, I don't attend church, i don't dress modestly if i don't want to and i wear a bikini and sometimes a sexy one piece. I drink alcohol, coffee and tea. I swear and I don't date Mormon guys. I don't plan on getting married in the temple and in fact, a beach wedding or garden wedding in the woods sounds perfect to me..(So does eloping). If my dad wants to talk religion i stop him in his tracks and all together it drives him nuts. I like the cross i wear around my neck and I have many tattoo ideas in my head for the purpose of being an artist not because its in trend. I don't want to be ashamed of who i am nor do i want them to be ashamed of me. I'm still the same person, the same little tawnya with a quirky personality and need for adventure. I still love my family and support them for their choices in choosing a religion that fits their lifestyle.

I respect my family to not drink in front of them but I still bring home guys that my dad still disapproves of because they aren't Mormon. They turn their head to things they don't approve of and i don't take offense to their sometimes judgmental comments. It wasn't so much a trial living at home but just recognizing our differences and accepting them.

I don't want to hurt my parents feelings by lying to them so i've chose to live by the saying of, "I'd rather be an open sinner than a false saint" and i'm stick'n to it. In all honesty i'll miss living with my parents and i'll miss how safe i felt when i was in their home. 25 years is a long time to spend with 2 people, but they were easily the best roommates i could have asked for.

This much is true.