Me and the Food Fairy Nazi

 Today I tried to cheat on my diet with one of those chocolate brownie muffins from Costco!

(To die for)

But the food fairy nazi had other plans for me because no less then one minute later, the microwave caught on fire. 

Silly me, I got distracted.

Without realizing anything i started to smell fire and i THOUGHT it was coming from outside because there was minimal smoke surrounding the window so i ran outside, my dog Kobe was barking like a mad dog so i figured he had seen fire and was giving me the classic Lassy 'warning' bark but i saw nothing. Then, i ran back inside to find my cell phone to call my dad who was out for a walk and of course, my phone was no where to be found in such an emergency. Luckily we're the family who still has a land line telephone so i was able to call my dad.
I never felt so much panic in my life because there was a lack of abundance in our baking soda and the thought of throwing mounds of snow on a fire didn't even occur to me till just now. Anyway my dad comes running in and the house is filled with smoke, not fire smoke but burning smoke, and without question its the microwave. How could i be so blind and forgetful...

Anyway, we survived and the house stinks but it's still standing!

This isn't my smartest moment in life, but of all the blonde things i have done throughout my life, i think this one takes the cake.

So, back to my diet of cleansing smoothies and veggies. Perhaps i will think twice before cheating on my diet again.

Skipping Steps and Going Miles

To anyone who read my other blog (which i deleted due to the depressing matters of my life.) 

I think you should know that i drove alone for the first time tonight!

Its been 1 year 5 months and 14 days since my DUI occurred and it wasn't until 3 hours ago that i got back behind the wheel and drove somewhere without someone like a bf or parent in the car.

I can't begin to tell you how childish, and handicapped i felt being unable to feel that sense of freedom and you don't realize how incredible the feeling is until you go through it. In addition, I have never sang so hard in my life! I'm not a person who is comfortable singing in front of other people despite that given the right moment and place, i can sing pretty darn good but in my car, I can sing forever and with whomever! I love it!

I wish i could have stuffed all the people i care about most in the car with me to share that moment with them, but instead, i just called them. If you got a phone call tonight or text, just know that i appreciate all the times you helped me out when i hit a low point in life. Deeply and sincerely.

T H A N K  Y O U ! !

Anyway, it was a real break through in life for me and i just thought to share this epic moment with anyone and everyone who cares to read my blog.

Life, or something like it.

I'm a 23 year old college student with a full ride scholarship going for a double major.

B I G D E A L

I've come to realize today that even when i get the degree's i'm chasing, that still doesn't mean i'll be set for life. I wish i could've been born much before this day and age or in a family of grand royalty where my dreams were a credit card swipe away...

(don't we all)

i know the technology is kick ass but so much is expected of one person that at times it can be quite overwhelming. 

My dad had a well to do job before technology grew and took over the majority of almost all well to do jobs and now he's become one of those "outcasts" which are struggling to find a job. I feel bad for him because he's getting to old and just the other day he came to me asking, "Tawnya whats networking?" I know, my dad is old and for being a computer software project manager, you would think that he would be able to wrapped his head around the latest computer technology terms at least but he just can't get a grasp on it and i feel bad for him because he and i are realizing that though a degree will get you places, it may not always lead to the happy "American Dream" ending.

For this reason, I've become addicted to figuring out new things in which i'm good at besides my education because it seems to me that even if you kill it in school, you may just get the cut at work. 

Now i'm not planning on getting fired or let go from work but no body knows the future and sometimes these things just happen even if you are an incredible worker. So its time to figure out the hobbies you're good at, those ones that have the most potential to make you money when you find yourself in a rut. Maybe these things are flipping cars, mechanical work, writing, making art, jewelery, or interior design or maybe you have great wood making skills. Whatever your gift is, work on it and don't stop!

 Life is too short to be stressed out on money and unfortunately money is an essential part of living for everyone, aside from the 7%(ish) of people in the world who are Henry David Thoreau's or the last members of an ALMOST extinct tribe hidden deep within the rain forest.

I know, this idea kinda just sounds like an exhausting effort to find your inner self and talents but i'm afraid our generation is to that point where unless you're in with the high rollers, you're REALLY FAR OUT.

Its just insider tip, you can take it or leave it but its been working for me while i've been in college. I sell my dogs stud services, i'm learning how to flip cars and i sell art work on the side and its not making me enough money to buy a mansion or the car of my dreams or travel the world, but its what i got.

PS. I want to congratulate my dog Kobe today for losing his virginity! 

The poor guy needed it..

The Dreaming Lover

"The Dreaming Lover" by Tawnya

"I am the dreaming lover. Seducing this lover does not require you to have been born with any special skills. This dreaming lover tends to keep their head in the clouds & like a lonely widow, this lover gazes out into the distance daydreaming up his or her next whirlwind romance with their long lost love. To seduce a lover of this grade is no challenge, but rather similar to a lion chasing a hurt gazelle. A taste of this lover will send you into a short mystical dream leaving you feeling satisfied and them feeling conquered. This lover only dreams of loving and being loved. This spiraling circle gives them hope that love isn't long lost after all & that somewhere someday their heart will be stricken with life & they will feel it beat once more."

Cinderfuckinrella

I have $1.62 to my name, a beer in the fridge and toppings for a mini baked potato. 

Yesterday my boyfriend and i made homemade pizzas from 2 pieces of toast, tomato sauce, cheese and Italian seasoning.

It was Awesome.

And today we will take every scrap we can find left in the cupboards and call it sloppy seconds... 

You don't have to tell me i'm rich because i already know i am.

Having no money is no fun, but making life work when you have no money, now that's the fun part. I've lived off $100 for the past month or so and thankfully i have no bills so its been possible for me. As for Chris, he has mega responsibilities as to where his money goes so he has no money either. Soo i'm going to state this bluntly..

$100 ain't S H I T!!!

We're using napkins for TP, potatoes are involved in EVERY meal... breakfast, lunch, dinner... SNACKS  you name it we're eating slop like a soldier back in Nom. I haven't worn make up for a week and i lost my contacts so i'm wearing my broken eye glasses from Jr High! I got chipped nail polish, knots in my hair and loose sweatpants.

But life's good.

I still get to wake up next to Chris every morning, we still cook together and laugh over the smoke alarm going off. We still get to enjoy a cool dog who stares at the wall and we still fight over listening to heavy metal music and Louis Armstrong. He still kisses me and hugs me and just now he roamed in and said "You look your best even at your worst" (needed that) and Tonight? Well tonight we'll be robbing someones Netflix account and watching a movie while eating more potatoes.

I write this because tomorrow everything will change. My $1 will multiply by many and we will have a reason to get dressed up and dine like white folk... saying goodbye to these bittersweet moments of survival. 

Call Me Cinderfuckinrella.