2 days ago i turned 24 and it was the first time i actually woke up feeling older.
Today one of my 'clique' friends from High School called me and told me she was getting married!! Out of 5 of us in this 'clique', I am now the last one to get married. Although i'm excited for her, i never thought i would be the last.. Or perhaps i was just hoping.
All of my best friends from childhood, up to this day are married or about to be married. So i ask myself...
Where the hell did time go? What path did i wander down that others didn't? Will i ever get married?
and most importantly..
Am i Happy?
One of my favorite sangs is that, "Not all those who wander, are lost."
But then i think, this sang would be O so lovely if it were true, but I am lost. I'm in college but i don't know what i want to be. I love a guy but i can't predict the future of us. I want to be skinny but i love the taste of food too much. Exercise? ha...
Lack of motivation much?
I feel as though my childlike imagination has disappeared and my greatest and most fond dreams have simply become a distant memory of which i can no longer look back and see.
As for my future? Its a mirage. Somewhat visible but wavy and unclear to the point that i really can't figure out the truth of it until i get a little closer... and perhaps a little older.
Would life just make sense already? At least i still get ID'd everywhere i go and people still mistaken me for looking 19. Yes!
Happy Birthday to Me.
